As a Divorce Coach here in Ontario, I spend my days walking alongside people as they navigate one of the hardest seasons of their lives. Through my practice — Let’s Talk Divorce Canada — I’ve seen just how much lighter, smoother, and yes, even less expensive this whole process can be when you have the right support in your corner.
So why in the world would I write an article about reasons not to hire a Divorce Coach? Because sometimes the best way to shine a light on the truth is to flip the script. Think of this as a tongue-in-cheek guide to doing divorce the hard way — for anyone who’s a fan of spending more money, losing more sleep, and making things way more complicated than they need to be.
Ready? Here are 10 “foolproof” reasons you should skip the Divorce Coach… if chaos, stress, and unnecessary drama are totally your vibe.
1. Turn Your Lawyer Into a $500 Pen Pal
Why invest in a Divorce Coach who can teach you to write a crisp two-sentence reply when you could pour your soul into an eight-paragraph novel, send it to your lawyer, and pay $500 or more an hour for them to skim it? Bonus points if they charge extra just to ask, “So… what do you actually want me to do with this?” The payoff? You don’t actually get better at communicating with your ex — you just get really good at paying someone to delete your extra exclamation points. Because nothing screams “financially wise” like burning through your savings and your kid’s education fund in one fell swoop.
2. Spend 40% of Your Assets to Prove a Point
Why waste a few thousand on unnecessary emails to your lawyer when you could go big and blow hundreds of thousands of dollars just to prove you’re “right”? Who cares that you’ll probably still end up splitting things anyway — at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you spent more on legal fees than that couch and table was worth. A Divorce Coach might help you to pick your battles wisely… but where’s the drama in that?
3. Therapy Is for Healing; Lawyers Are for Fighting… and Divorce Coaches?
A Divorce Coach could be that missing link who helps you communicate better, strategize smarter, and stop stepping on your own toes. But nah. Better to overload your therapist with things that aren’t their lane and keep your lawyer rolling their eyes at your 3 a.m. emails — while happily billing you for “advice” you didn’t actually need.
4. Why Tell Your Story When Your Ex Can Tell It for You?
Sure, a Divorce Coach could help you cut through the noise and frame your story so the facts shine through. But honestly? Isn’t it more thrilling to let your ex paint themselves as the calm, credible hero while you look scattered, emotional and defensive? Hand them the mic, cross your fingers, and hope for the best.
5. Mediation or 4-Way Meetings? Just Wing It
Sure, you could bring in a Divorce Coach who helps you walk into mediation cool, confident, and ready — armed with information, a clear sense of your priorities, and some flexible thinking in your back pocket. But where’s the thrill in that? Wouldn’t it be way more exciting to roll up with nothing but a shoebox of papers, a swirl of emotions, and zero plan? Forget what matters most, toss strategy out the window, and just let chaos run the show. Because why walk in with leverage when you can hand it, neatly gift-wrapped, to your ex instead?
6. Boundaries Are for Quitters
Divorce Coaches teach you to say no and protect your energy. Snooze. Wouldn’t it be more fun to say yes to everything until you collapse in a puddle of resentment? Text your ex back at midnight, agree to every outrageous demand they make, and waste hours obsessing over details that don’t even matter. Exhaustion builds character, right?
7. Trust Dr. Google
Who needs professional guidance when you’ve got the internet? Why not build your entire divorce plan around a 2 a.m. Facebook group thread from DivorceMom123 (who probably lives in Florida and has zero clue about Ontario law)? Or better yet, let TikTok explain how to divide assets in under 30 seconds — what could possibly go wrong? Sure, a Divorce Coach could keep you grounded with real strategy, but honestly… rabbit holes are way more entertaining.
8. Parenting Plans? Just Wing It
Who needs a Divorce Coach to help you map out a parenting plan when you can just argue it out with your ex over text at midnight? Forget structure, forget consistency, forget actually having a roadmap for your kids’ future. Or better yet, go to court and let the judge — a total stranger who knows nothing about your family — decide what happens. It’s basically like setting off on a road trip with no Waze, no snacks, and no gas. What could possibly go wrong?
9. Who Needs Confidence Anyway?
A Divorce Coach could help you walk into legal meetings clear-headed, informed and prepared. But that’s way too practical. Better to show up confused, shaky, and ready to fold at the first raised eyebrow. It’s like bringing a pool noodle to a sword fight: dramatic, yes. Effective? Not so much.
10. Thriving Is for Other People
Healing? Growth? Moving on? Ugh, too much work. Bitterness is way easier to maintain, like a bad habit you never have to break. Why risk working with a Divorce Coach to design a new chapter you actually love when you can keep replaying the same painful story on repeat forever?
Because here’s the thing: moving forward takes courage, intention, and a little bit of faith. Staying stuck? That just takes practice. And if you’re really committed, you can master it for years to come. Who needs joy, confidence, or a fresh start when you’ve got resentment to keep you warm at night?
Final Thought
So, there you have it. If you want to burn through money, time, and emotional energy while making your divorce harder than it needs to be — by all means, skip the Divorce Coach. Stay overwhelmed, exhausted, and reactive while your lawyer bills you for every emotional email and your ex controls the narrative.
But if you’d rather take back control — save money, protect your kids and your sanity — and come out the other side not just surviving, but thriving, then hiring a Divorce Coach may be the smartest decision you’ll ever make.
And here’s the best part, Divorce coaching isn’t just “nice-to-have” support anymore. It’s becoming a recognized profession with standards and accountability. In fact, the Divorce Coaches Association of Ontario (DCAO) is the first governing body of its kind in North America dedicated to upholding professionalism, ethics, and best practices for Divorce Coaches. That means when you work with a Divorce Coach who is a member of DCAO, you’re not just getting support — you’re getting guidance you can actually trust.
Because at the end of the day, you deserve more than just “getting through” divorce. You deserve a roadmap, real tools, and a future you can get excited about!